As we move forward into Advent, at the end of this month, with the Church Year ending and a New Church Year beginning at the end of the month, it is timely with our year coming to a close, for us to ask ourselves have we done enough? When we look back on our church year and all the triumphs, joys, disappointments that it entailed, were we prepared for the challenges presented to us? Most people would answer yes or no. I am not most people this year. In July my ex-husband had a heart attack, followed by Covid, open heart surgery (a double-bypass) and pneumonia, I don't know what he would have done if I had not still been in his life. He came to me from the hospital and 2 months after the heart attack, he tried but could not return to his previous work and life. He realized he wanted to reconcile and move back in with me permanently. I had Joy tempered with concern for his condition.

Three days after shifting him in, while we were still unpacking, my son collapsed in the bathroom with a heart attack, he was transported to the local hospital and then flown to the main Hospital in Wellington, where he passed away overnight in Wellington ICU. Over the following week with the travel to Wellington to make arrangements and say goodbye, and through the Memorial Service back at home, where he did the Eulogy for his step-son. I know God was in his return, he put him where he needed to be for both of us. . . . I would not have coped with the loss and all I have had to deal with in the last 3 weeks without his love and support, and the blessing and presence of my grandchildren and their Mums.

I am one of those people that stays calm and deals with the crisis at the time then falls apart afterwards. No parent should ever have to bury a child, but God arranged my financial circumstances in such a way that we had what we needed, when we needed it and I was able to deal with everything and make all the arrangements when my daughter-in-law could not. He put the emotional supports in place around me, so that after it was all over I would be OK. God has given us, a chance to join together as a family closer than we were, to be there more for each other, while still giving each other the space to grieve. I understand and appreciate how God moves in all of us as He leads us on our Christian journey, and while I have lost my son, I see his loving care for me in how he arranged everything to carry me through this time.

As we move toward advent this will be the first Christmas without my son, but I do not fear it, because God is merciful, surrounding me with his love and care. My daughter and grandchildren will be present for Christmas and we will do something small to remember my son on his birthday on the 21st and my ex-husband will be here beside me. His presence a great comfort, as I prepare for the birth of Christ. So the enemy will NOT steal my Christmas I can look forward still to sharing with family, and friends.

In our busy lives sometimes it can be difficult to break from our usual routine, to get off the roundabout as life can sometimes seem overwhelming, mine was wrenched off the roundabout and derailed, the word overwhelming is an understatement! But God prepared things, He knew what was coming when I did not. So in spite of the election outcome and the uncertainty it currently brings to everyone in New Zealand, we know we are not alone. We are all in it together and if you are in the kingdom, we will be OK whatever happens.